I went to see the very talented Alison Sudol and "A Fine Frenzy" in Virginia on Easter Sunday. This was my second opportunity to see her live. Same concert--two completely different experiences.
The first time around, she was the warm-up act for another very talented singer/songwriter, Brandi Carlile. Additionally, she performed without her full crew--I believe the drummer/guitarist/misc. was sick. The result was a nice low key experience.
This time, she came with not only a full crew, but a more enhanced sound. I think it is safe to say she rocked it out. While maintaining the integrity of her beautiful voice and heartfelt lyrics, she amp'd-up her sound and it was a pleasant surprise. Those in attendance were also lucky enough to hear her tackle a few classic covers (recommended by fans on her web site) and she closed the concert with a sneak peek of the first song on her next upcoming CD. A delightful evening overall.
However, upon leaving, it was brought to my attention that her lyrics hit home in many ways. In my personal experience, the impetus for a majority of popular song lyrics is emotional struggle, sadness, loss, discontent, or pain, and yet very few are born out of happiness. Seems strange to me considering the fact that singing used to be a way of celebrating or rejoicing. Although, the more I think about it, in church people sing songs of rejoice, but what are they rejoicing exactly? Christ's sacrifice for us? That's a depressing thought. His resurrection from the dead? SAD--he was murdered! His unconditional love and forgiveness? SAD--it acknowledges that we are all horrible people that go astray from the righteous lives that we know to be more honorable.
Song lyrics are motivated by life experiences. But...we can't all be so miserable, can we? So much so that all we can sing about and the music that we relate to always has negative connotations?
I realize it just so happens that nothing brings out emotion and passion like misery, but c'mon! Let's cheer up the airwaves a little! Maybe sing more campfire songs??? --Those were happy ...
This leads me to ask a QUESTION about modern music: Without life struggles and pain, would we have music?
So, I TASK you with the following: Name 10 modern songs which were written about complete happiness and satisfaction....I fear it may be more difficult than you think....
Bellcanto said...
1) Bubbly - Colbie Collet
2) Forever and For Always - Shania Twain
3) Dancing on the ceiling - Lionel Richie
4) What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong
5) I Love The Way You Love Me - John Michael Montgomery
6) Forever Young - Alphaville
7) Respect - Aretha Franklin
8) Good Day Sunshine - Beatles
9) Heaven Is A Place On Earth - Belinda Carlisle
10) She loves you - Beatles
11) It´s a wonderful life - Black
12) Sun is shining - Bob Marley
13) Don't worry Be happy - Bobby McFerrin
14) Right on track - Breakfast Club
15) Top of the world - Carpenters
16) Wonderful Days - Charly Lownoise & Menthal Theo
17) Groove is in the heart - Dee lite
18) Happy Faces - Destiny's Child
19) I feel love - Donna Summer
20) Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton
21) What a feeling - Flashdance
22) Singin' in the rain - Gene Kelly
23) Some Kind Of Wonderful - Grand Funk Railroad
24) Happy to be stuck with you - Huey Lewis
This is just a short list of happy, positive songs out there on the air waves. But if this list of melodic exultations isn’t enough to convince you of the happy nature of songs that are ready to play into your ears, please direct yourself to the following websites that each list (upon the hundreds) happy joyful tunes that will brighten your day and put a smile on your face: http://www.popculturemadness.com/Music/Happy-Songs.html
http://forums.whirlpool.net.au/forum-replies-archive.cfm/669052.html
http://www.reinventingmyself.com/groovysongs.html
http://www.vandegraaf.net/happy-songs-tips-a-b.asp
http://www.poemhunter.com/songs/happy/
http://shirleymclaine.typepad.com/livingoutloud/2007/06/songs_that_make.html
And so, with “a song in my heart,” I’ll leave you with this thought: I think there is much positivism out there in the world and in music. It just has to be sought out a little more than the sad or melancholy offerings. Let’s face it, our culture feeds on sadness and destructive stories (think about how the media makes its business). So don’t be surprised if that’s what the music industry caters to as well! Sure, people connect with what they can relate to, but that doesn’t mean that we have to be sucked into unhappy mindsets all the time. Real life offers enough sorrow, so let’s seek out the good and capitalize on all the good events (and music) that life brings along!
D-Llama says:
Touché Ms. Bellcanto, Touché!!
However, the task was to list 10 "modern" songs. Your list consists of mostly tunes from the 80's...
Bellcanto said...
These are modern songs, sir...when you consider the centuries of exultant music that have been produced, those which were cut in the last two decades are as recent as you can get. If you believe that I'm being difficult, then check with the websites I listed and you will find many modern ballads of the last couple years. There was simply too much happy repertoire for me to sift through in one sitting! ;)
D-Llama says:
I'm sorry, but the last 20+ years of music doesn't quite rate as "modern" in my book, and certainly Gene Kelly, the Beatles, or Bob Marley don't qualify either...
Showing posts with label Task. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Task. Show all posts
Monday, March 24, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
TASK: Define the Line Between a Healthy Need for One's Partner and Unhealthy Co-dependency...
D-Llama says:
Bellcanto says:
Since I am a woman, and one who is also very un-gracefully stumbling about in my acceptance of the answer to this question, I will approach this from the difficulties that make this challenge so very hard from a woman’s standpoint. There are two basic reactions that surface from the wounds a woman receives to her soul. Each are equally as unhealthy and destructive, in my view. How we respond to them makes all the difference in how we handle our relationships.
When women are wounded (by having our longings and desires to be seen and wanted and needed dismissed, thrown back in our faces, or simply not needed), something inside us – the little valiant and secure girl – shrivels and dies. If the pain is bad enough, we may even hate our own heart that longs for the romance, loathing the parts of us that ache with a seemingly endless loneliness and yearning for love and affection. I think most women have the innate sense that they are too much, too messy, too needy, and not worth the effort. And this is the curse that leads then to our defensive responses: one is to either over-react by becoming the Dominator - controlling, manipulating, out-spoken – the kind that is in charge and forceful about almost everything. The other response is to become Desolate - accepting our wound as one that was deserved, this woman shrinks from life and personality by becoming timid, passive, too vulnerable, and deficient of any sense of self. Both reactions are rooted in self-destructive behavior and are damaging to those around them. They definitely make it difficult to navigate the waters of life as strong, secure and confident women, while at the same time being patient, compassionate, and nurturing.
I believe the problem overall stems from the fact that women often take their life’s most important question to a man for him to answer and validate completely. I believe there are layers of need – the deepest is the need of existential fulfillment and purpose; the second deals with personal fulfillment and security; the third we’ll say involves physical and present needs. Women often take their existential questions to their man; this is the first wrong step, for men never have or ever will be able to fully satisfy a woman completely in that respect. She cannot take her questions – “Am I desirable?” “Am I worthy enough?” “Am I needed?” – to a man first; she must know the answers to these questions and then she will be free to offer herself completely as a whole and confident woman to her man. As such, she will be free of striving, jealousy, controlling tendencies, and excessive “neediness.” She will need her man, but she will not be “needy.” When I think of the characteristics of neediness, I conjure the qualities of mistrust, nervousness, controlling tendencies, and general lack of peace when her man can’t fulfill her every immediate need. A healthy need for her man would involve her fulfillment by him of the second and third stratum of needs: emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and physical. For these, men and women definitely need and must rely upon each other. A man needs a woman to stand by him and encourage him by her respect, love, loyalty and service. A woman needs a man to protect, shield, love, and provide for her. Our roles are distinctly different in my view, but equally important and valuable.
Thus, to complete the task at hand, I would define the “fine line” as that beautiful place where each partner relies upon the other to assist and help them throughout the walk of life - by being available to offer comfort or candidness, by communicating, by looking to the other’s need before one’s own, by trusting completely and believing only in the belief that the two were much better and whole together than as individuals. They strengthen each other by their love, they challenge and refine each other through discourse and shared learning, they share the joys and pains of life, providing the powerful security that a relationship founded by trust, faith, hope and love can only offer. And they are patient in accepting the ebb and flow that life and relationships afford. Not every day is a walk in paradise, but it doesn’t matter, because the two are in it together and will see each other through. In a way, the partners of this kind of a relationship have been given to each other as gifts from God to heal the wounds dealt to them by the world. This is the quality of a healthy relationship, and from this reality stems a healthy relational need.
Down those old ancient streets,
Down those old ancient roads,
Baby there together we must go,
Til we get the healing done. - Van Morrison
Bellcanto says:
Since I am a woman, and one who is also very un-gracefully stumbling about in my acceptance of the answer to this question, I will approach this from the difficulties that make this challenge so very hard from a woman’s standpoint. There are two basic reactions that surface from the wounds a woman receives to her soul. Each are equally as unhealthy and destructive, in my view. How we respond to them makes all the difference in how we handle our relationships.
When women are wounded (by having our longings and desires to be seen and wanted and needed dismissed, thrown back in our faces, or simply not needed), something inside us – the little valiant and secure girl – shrivels and dies. If the pain is bad enough, we may even hate our own heart that longs for the romance, loathing the parts of us that ache with a seemingly endless loneliness and yearning for love and affection. I think most women have the innate sense that they are too much, too messy, too needy, and not worth the effort. And this is the curse that leads then to our defensive responses: one is to either over-react by becoming the Dominator - controlling, manipulating, out-spoken – the kind that is in charge and forceful about almost everything. The other response is to become Desolate - accepting our wound as one that was deserved, this woman shrinks from life and personality by becoming timid, passive, too vulnerable, and deficient of any sense of self. Both reactions are rooted in self-destructive behavior and are damaging to those around them. They definitely make it difficult to navigate the waters of life as strong, secure and confident women, while at the same time being patient, compassionate, and nurturing.
I believe the problem overall stems from the fact that women often take their life’s most important question to a man for him to answer and validate completely. I believe there are layers of need – the deepest is the need of existential fulfillment and purpose; the second deals with personal fulfillment and security; the third we’ll say involves physical and present needs. Women often take their existential questions to their man; this is the first wrong step, for men never have or ever will be able to fully satisfy a woman completely in that respect. She cannot take her questions – “Am I desirable?” “Am I worthy enough?” “Am I needed?” – to a man first; she must know the answers to these questions and then she will be free to offer herself completely as a whole and confident woman to her man. As such, she will be free of striving, jealousy, controlling tendencies, and excessive “neediness.” She will need her man, but she will not be “needy.” When I think of the characteristics of neediness, I conjure the qualities of mistrust, nervousness, controlling tendencies, and general lack of peace when her man can’t fulfill her every immediate need. A healthy need for her man would involve her fulfillment by him of the second and third stratum of needs: emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and physical. For these, men and women definitely need and must rely upon each other. A man needs a woman to stand by him and encourage him by her respect, love, loyalty and service. A woman needs a man to protect, shield, love, and provide for her. Our roles are distinctly different in my view, but equally important and valuable.
Thus, to complete the task at hand, I would define the “fine line” as that beautiful place where each partner relies upon the other to assist and help them throughout the walk of life - by being available to offer comfort or candidness, by communicating, by looking to the other’s need before one’s own, by trusting completely and believing only in the belief that the two were much better and whole together than as individuals. They strengthen each other by their love, they challenge and refine each other through discourse and shared learning, they share the joys and pains of life, providing the powerful security that a relationship founded by trust, faith, hope and love can only offer. And they are patient in accepting the ebb and flow that life and relationships afford. Not every day is a walk in paradise, but it doesn’t matter, because the two are in it together and will see each other through. In a way, the partners of this kind of a relationship have been given to each other as gifts from God to heal the wounds dealt to them by the world. This is the quality of a healthy relationship, and from this reality stems a healthy relational need.
Down those old ancient streets,
Down those old ancient roads,
Baby there together we must go,
Til we get the healing done. - Van Morrison
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