Arugula Files DC

I know this is a departure from the general theme of this blog, but, Love is love, whether it is emotional love, or love for food. Accordingly, I think from time to time I may just start mentioning my love for food. Here is "food" blog number 1....

1)Think you're a "Foodie?"

2)Perhaps you just like food? Or maybe you just like the thought of food...

3)Like eating out?

4)Like cooking at home?

5)Like pretty much anything associated with food?

DC, much like other major cities, has its fair share of restaurants and is a mecca for dining--both good, bad, and on the cheap. Here is a great site for all Washingtonians that answered yes to any of the previous questions....

http://arugulafiles.typepad.com/

I recently attended the Washingtonian Magazines Leukemia and Lymphoma fundraiser at the National Building Museum. Wow! How inspiring!!! I just wanted to make reservations at every restaurant in the DC Metro area. ---Good thing restaurant week is making its return to DC in a couple of weeks. I plan to take full advantage of that!

I'm now in the mood to eat, much like I am always in the mood to golf, play tennis, cook, improve my home or garden, or.... well anything after watching it on Television. Funny how inspiring watching television can be.

Enjoy!

Freedom...Good Tune...David Gray

Freedom...thank you, Sir David Gray

Stumbling on Happiness

Thank you for your post, Ms. Bellcanto. Here is my response....

Daniel Gilbert actually wrote a book conveniently titled "Stumbling on Happiness." >>click here for more information about it.

While sometimes humorous, the overall theme of the book addresses the human being's unique ability, and unfortunate tendency to be able to think about the future; to consider, analyze, and adjust our current circumstances to affect the future.

We try to make ourselves happy based on what we believe we want our futures to look like and what we assume will make us happy in the long-term. Gilbert suggests that in reality, when we are older--even on our deathbeds, we are never happy or satified with the decisions we made throughout our lives which were based on what we thought we would eventually want and be hapopy with, because what we currently believe will make us happy in the future won't necessarily pan-out. Therefore, we should be living for today, and what makes us happy in the present times. Theoretically, if we concentrate on daily happiness, in the longrun, regardless of where we end-up, we will be able to look back and say that we were happy all along and as a result, we have no regrets, and we don't look back in disdain about why we thought we would like something other than we do.

The perfect example of this is a man who sacrifices daily happiness and works hard when he is young--perhaps even to the detriment of his family, spouse, health, etc. --with the idea that doing do now will in the long-run pay dividends-- he will be financially well-off, will be able to retire early, spend time with his family, play a lot of golf, and live the happy, relaxed life of a young, spry retiree. I think we all know what really ends-up happening here, don't we?

He either:
1) Looks back on his life and regrets sacrificing quality time with his family, regrets that he missed the most of the experiences and everyday happinesses for assumed long term gains, and perhaps even realizes that he doesn't like golf all that much.

or

2) He never quite accomplishes what he wanted or reaches the level he had hoped, and therefore, like a drug, he remains addicted to his pursuit and continues his aspirations of reaching some magical level of happiness. He never stops his extreme and sacrificial lifestyle and ends-up wasting his life --all the good things, all the possibilities for enjoying so much --because he remains committed to living for the future and what he assumes will eventually be his true happiness. All the while, in the end, he ends up looking back and realizing that he lived a life envied by noone.

When analyzing my personal level of happiness and satisfaction, I find that happiness truly is stumbled upon. It hits you like a brick out of nowhere. I cannot be necessarily or difinitively traced to a specific or given item, event, person, or ideal --much like pain and suffering can. True happiness is upon us without reason. Why? Who knows? But perhaps it is because we aren't looking for it, rather, we are living for it. We aren't stressing-out and working towards trying to find it resulting in continued sadness and acknowledgement that we aren't happy. Rather, we come upon it--we stumble on happiness naturally through a happy lifestyle. And when the realization of natural and true happiness overtakes us, it is fabulous!

I. Am. Happy.

I can't tell you exactly why, but I can tell you that I haven't been looking for happiness, I've been living for it.

Happiness

Denmark was recently found to be, by a study on global wellbeing, the happiest country and the most content nation in the world. Researchers pointed out that most of the countries who ranked well on their happy-scale were unsurprisingly those with peaceful democracies. But some might wonder why the correlation between happiness and peaceful political situations didn’t manifest in the ranking of the United States, who is also the richest nation in the world. Listed as the 16th happiest nation on the globe, the good old U.S. of A. obviously has some non-material problems that prevented it from topping the charts in this respect. The reason being? Let’s let Martha Washington answer that: "The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances." And it doesn’t take that long a look around you or in a newspaper to find out that we are also the most spoiled, greedy, impatient, selfish and lazy people on the earth. We also have many redeeming qualities and exercise them in many ways, but we also coast along on the coat-tails of our forefathers’ character, who built this nation upon solid principles and values. Now we simply get to enjoy the fruits of their efforts and courageous acts. We are a country of vast prosperity, and we’ve succumbed to the pitfalls of that condition, costing us our happiness and inner peace. As someone who is searching to find the true meaning of happiness and inward contentment, I am not casting at finger at my fellow Americans, for certainly I am guilty of the aforementioned as well. Many of us struggle with this question – but perhaps the answer is that we simply have not struggled enough. The old adage that “adversity maketh the man, prosperity maketh the monster” is true…we all succumb to hubris, selfishness and greed when things go our way too much. This is not to say that it is wrong when we are successful, or blessed, or prosperous. All of these things are very good, but they have to be tempered with gratitude, humility and a sense of wonder (in the sense that they are not simply expected or demanded). As Ms. Washington said above, happiness depends upon our inner substance and foundation, not what constitutes our outer layers.

I feel that one key to happiness that God has been teaching me recently is the quality of acceptance. As a red head with German in my blood, this is not something that comes naturally for me. I’m hard-headed, and if something goes wrong, I want to DO something about it. If someone stands up to me and counters me, my natural tendency is to be stronger and not back down until they’ve given in. If God thwarts me, my first response is inward anger and on the outside shaking my fist at him. But this is not correct of course, just as stewing over something that didn’t go my way or harboring resentment, bitterness, anger or hurt is wrong and detrimental to my overall well-being and peace. But lately I’ve been very blessed and moved by the simple act of giving over my will – when it is out of line and incorrect – and accepting what comes as what is meant to be. I might as well not fight it – there’s nothing I can do to change it anyway – it’s better to make peace about it. Perhaps this is a simple concept for many, but I’m glad to be learning it now and relinquishing a “control” that I don’t have anyway to the One who does. There is a lot of peace that comes from doing that. If someone can learn to accept the good with the bad and be grateful for that at the same time, I think that person is well on their way to being a happy being. It’s not just the good that happens to you in life that makes you happy, it’s how to handle the bad and prevent it from ruining you or tearing you down.

What also contributes to inward peace and happiness? There are certainly many other conditions and qualities that make for a happy outlook and peaceful existence in life. What are some other characteristics that help this?

Exercise for Understanding Your Partner’s Insecurities

An Exercise for Understanding Your Partner’s Insecurities...and Your Own!

I recently came up with an exercise which I thought was quite helpful in bolstering the quality and levels of communication and understanding with one's partner. It seems to work wonderfully as far as I am concerned. Perhaps you could give it a try...

1) Sit down with your partner each with a sheet of paper and a pen.
2) Draw 3 columns on your paper and number 5 rows in each column.

The column headers should be:
a) My insecurities
b) Your insecurities
c) What I like/what I find most appealing about you.

Without talking, complete the lists. It is important to suck it up and be completely open and honest, otherwise this exercise is for naught.

For a) name your top 5 insecurities. For b) name what you think are the top 5 insecurities of your partner. For c) name the the top 5 things you like most about your partner.

Once you've completed your lists, verbally exchange what you wrote one-by-one working from list a) to c) and discussing the answers with your partner.

So you think you really know your partner, right? If you are both completely honest, the results are quite enlightening and hopefully you will learn more than you thought.

The idea here is that we all have our insecurities. While some of us make them obvious, others are good at burying them deep down. The problem is, deep-rooted insecurities cannot be addressed unless an individual is willing to acknowledge them--even to their partner. Far too often, they are never addressed and the overwhelming nature of their impact on the individual can be disastrous --many times to the detriment of the relationship.

Have fun, let go, and enjoy!

Long-Term Life Goals...

Last night I was asked what my long-term life goal was. It got me thinking.

This morning I was grabbing a Rasberry Light White Berry coffee from Caribou, and as I looked out the window, I saw a 40+ year old couple embracing, kissing, making googling eyes at each other and smiling before saying goodbye for the day. It got me thinking.

They say that Parisians--or Europeans in general are more romantic than Americans, more willing to outwardly disply affection. While my travels to Europe have been limited to The Netherlands and Belgium, I've never been able to witness this activity first-hand, but I'm left with the impression from others that making-out and showing affection in public is quite prominent over the Atlantic. This gets me thinking.

I've always grown-up and lived a life of restricted public displays of affection while struggling internally with the reality that all I wanted to do was embrace the woman I loved, all the time--everywhere! But I have always been inhibited by my upbringing and thoughts about impropriety. I value my woman, I respect her, I love her, and while wanting to express that to her in the most appealing and obvious of ways as viewed in the mind of a woman (in public), it is an unfortunate reality that I've always given more consideration to other people seeing my love for her over her ability to actually experience it fully, without restrictions, without inhibitions, in public. I now regret that. I now realize that I should always, regardless of my insecurities, regardless of the hesitation and fear of being viewed as inapropriate by public bystanders, I should always put my emotional needs and wants--and those of my loved one first, and express my true emotions whenever and as often as possible.

Women crave uninhibited passion. Women want their man to express his love for them, not only at home and behind closed doors, but also to the world. A woman feels more secure in her relationship with her man when he is willing to scream to the world, "this is my woman, this is the woman I love, and this is how much." They find it troublesome when their man won't outwardly express his affection in public, because they feel like the man is not proud of her and their relationship. Right? --At least I think this is the case.

So...back to the original question that was asked of me last night: What is my long-term life goal? The answer is simple and unequivical. I want to be Norman Thayer, and I want to experience life with my Ethel Thayer. (See: On Golden Pond) I want to love my woman fully, openly, without restrictions, and without considering others views of impropriety. I want to walk on the beach, hand-in-hand with her and embrace the woman I love with my entire heart; that I would die for; that I do not want to live without, because she is my other half, she is my heart. I want to carry her heart in my heart 'til the end of days--and beyond, and I want people--everyone, to know that she is my everything.

This is my long-term life goal. This is where I want to be.

An Inspirational Sermon

http://freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2041342/posts

"Rest for the Weary" (Sermon on Matthew 11:25-30 and Romans 7:14-25a)July 6, 2008 The Rev. Charles Henrickson
Posted on Sunday, July 06, 2008 1:10:01 AM by Charles Henrickson
“Rest for the Weary” (Matthew 11:25-30; Romans 7:14-25a)

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Jesus here issues a wonderful invitation and makes a wonderful promise. “Come to me” is the invitation, and “I will give you rest” is the promise. And to whom does he address this invitation and this promise? To “all who labor and are heavy laden.” What is it, then, to labor and be heavy laden, to be weary and burdened? What does Jesus mean by that?
Jesus speaks to those who are weary of trying to please God by their own efforts. He is speaking to those who labor under the law. Those who are burdened with their weight of guilt. Loaded down with all the weariness and the burdens that life in this vale of tears lays upon people. Jesus speaks to those who are heavy laden with loads they are unable to carry. To them, to those who realize their weariness and burdened state, Jesus says, “Come to me, and I will give you rest.”
Is Jesus speaking to you? “All who labor and are heavy laden”: Is that you? Are you weary and burdened? Then, yes, Jesus is speaking to you today. He is inviting you to come to him, to learn from, and to receive from him, receive the rest he freely offers.
Jesus’ words back then addressed people who knew what it was to labor and be heavy laden. The Pharisees, you see, loaded a heavy weight on the people’s backs. For they thought, and they taught, that the law was something--if you worked hard enough--you could keep. That was how you could be accounted righteous before God--by your works. And that’s a heavy burden to bear. Only the best and most dedicated could hope to live up to that standard--oh, people like the Pharisees.
The Pharisees thought they could manage the law and master it. Of course, what they did was to take the teeth out of the law and make it just an external, superficial keeping of the law in its outward form. For instance, instead of really keeping the Sabbath commandment, which had to do with resting from work in order to hear God’s word, they would instead make up their own regulations about how many steps you could take on a Sabbath day’s journey, that sort of thing. A manageable kind of law. And that really sidesteps the main issue, which is that the law is to show us the sinfulness of our heart. It exposes us as sinners who do not want to hear God’s word and hold it sacred. In this way we come to see our need for God’s forgiveness and his righteousness. But the Pharisees deluded themselves into thinking they were keeping God’s law and thus were righteous.
To make themselves seem righteous, they had to look better than everyone else. So they devised a lot of man-made laws, a lot of regulations, and developed a whole system of minute rules that, if you really put your mind to it and worked really hard, I suppose you could keep in some outward fashion. Other people, of course, those who were not so attentive to these rules, would come off looking less religious, which in turn made the Pharisees look good by comparison. That was their game.
Now what was the effect this had on people? They felt weighted down, burdened. Jesus would later say of the Pharisees, “They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people’s shoulders.” By directing the people to the law--what’s more, to their own added-on human regulations--the Pharisees tied a heavy load on people’s backs. It was more than they could bear.
This issue came up again later, in the early church. In the Book of Acts, we read that there were some who were saying the Gentiles--that is, the non-Jews--had to keep all of the Jewish law in order to come into the church. “The Gentiles must be required to obey the law of Moses,” they said. But the apostle Peter got it right when he said: “Why are you putting God to the test by placing a yoke on the neck of the disciples that neither our fathers nor we have been able to bear? But we believe that we will be saved through the grace of the Lord Jesus, just as they will.”
The law is a heavy yoke that you and I are not able to bear. Keeping all the commandments of God is an enormous weight, and we are not strong enough to lift it. The apostle Paul realized this about himself, as we heard in the Epistle from Romans 7: “For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. . . . For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. . . . For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. . . . Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?”
Paul himself had been a Pharisee. He knew something of the burden of the law. And here we can hear him straining under that heavy weight. He knew now that he was nowhere near good enough or strong enough to carry that load. He couldn’t do it. And if Paul couldn’t do it--and he who was about as zealous and religious as they come--guess what? You and I can’t do it either.
This is the “battle within” that Paul describes here. It is a battle raging within every Christian: our inability to do all that we know we should do, according to God’s law, and our corresponding tendency to do things we know we ought not to do. We keep falling into the ditch on either side: sins of commission, actively doing wrong things, and sins of omission, our failure to do the right things. This battle within, the conflict between the new man who wants to obey God and the Old Adam who serves only self--this battle, and the fact that it weighs upon our conscience--this too is the labor and the heavy burden that Jesus is talking about.
Do you feel it? Do you realize that you have not loved God as you ought? Do you realize that you have not loved your neighbor as you ought? That you have not kept God’s commandments in all your thoughts, words, and deeds? Do you realize that this law of God condemns you as a sinner and sentences you to death? And that there is no escape, no way out, nothing you can do to get out from under the crushing weight of the law that comes crashing down on your head? Paul’s question remains relevant today: “Who will deliver me from this body of death?”
Thank God, Paul knows the answer to his own question! He joyfully declares: “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” Yes, dear friends, it is through Jesus Christ our Lord that you are delivered, that the load is lifted, the burden removed. That’s why Jesus can say, “Come to me, and I will give you rest.”
Jesus Christ is the only one who can do this for you. He is the only one strong enough to carry the load that is the weight of the law. That’s what Jesus did. He lived the life we do not live. He kept God’s law perfectly, in our place. His love for God was total, his love for the neighbor complete. Nothing was left out or fell short of the mark.
Then Jesus did something more. The crushing weight of the law, the sentence it pronounces on sinners, the verdict it declares, “Death to all those who do not do all that is written therein”--the death sentence we deserve Jesus suffered in our stead. The sinless Son of God did the unthinkable--he died the death of sinners, hanging on a cross, suspended between heaven and earth, mocked by men and abandoned by God. That is a heavy load to bear, nothing heavier.
In ancient Greek mythology there was a fellow named Atlas. His job was to carry the world on his shoulders. Well, dear ones, Jesus is our real-life Atlas. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, he really does. The heavy, unbearable weight of the whole world’s sins. That is the load Christ carried to the cross. He lifts it off of your shoulders and puts it on his own.
Remember how Jesus entered Jerusalem on Palm Sunday: “Humble and mounted on a donkey.” A donkey is a beast of burden. For Jesus came into Jerusalem so that he himself would bear the burden of our sins by carrying them to the cross.
My friends, the weight of your sins has been lifted, the load has been removed. That heavy load is gone just as surely as the huge, heavy stone was rolled away on Easter morning. The heavy millstone of judgment, the enormous tombstone of death--these have been rolled away. Sin is forgiven, death is destroyed. Jesus lifts these burdens from you. And now he says to you, in warm, inviting tones: “Come to me, and I will give you rest.” Quit struggling on your own. Lay down your burdens at foot of the cross. See my nail-pierced hands. I have done the job for you. Now you are free.
In his book, “Pilgrim’s Progress,” John Bunyan tells the story of a Christian on a journey, carrying a large bundle on his shoulders. He arrives at a place somewhat elevated above the surrounding area. On that hill there stands a cross, and below the hill there is a grave. As the man comes to the top of the hill with his heavy burden, the load is suddenly released from his shoulders. It drops to the ground, rolls down the hill, and disappears into the empty grave. That is a picture of what Christ has done for us. We labor along, carrying a heavy load. The cross appears before our eyes. We lay our heavy load down there, and it is rolled away.
What a relief! What rest for our souls. As St. Augustine once prayed to God, “Thou hast formed us for thyself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in thee.” Here then is the rest you need. Jesus Christ is our Sabbath rest. He gives us rest and refreshment from our labors. “Our hearts are restless till they find their rest in thee.” And we find that rest in Christ.
The yoke of the law is a load too heavy to bear. Jesus bears it for you. But notice what he says: “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me. . . . For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” What? Is Jesus just giving us one yoke in place of another? No, not as though he were some new lawgiver. Rather, Jesus’ “yoke” is really an invitation to discipleship: “Come to me.” “Learn from me.” To take his yoke upon us is to be his disciples, to follow him in faith and receive rest and new life from him. Thus it is, paradoxically, an “easy yoke,” a “light burden.”
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Come to Jesus, and find the rest you need. Rest for the weary, those worn out by their sins and the effects of sin we labor under in this fallen world. Rest for the battle-weary, Christians who feel and are grieved by the internal battle within, as the new man has to contend with the sinful flesh. Rest from just all the burdens we feel--sadness and pain, sorrow and loss.
Jesus is speaking to you today: “Come to me, and I will give you rest.” Yes, come and lay your burdens down. Find true spiritual rest in Christ, both for this life and for the age to come. We have this rest now--peace with God and the forgiveness of sins. And we have the sure hope of eternal rest in the promised land of heaven. “Soon, soon to faithful warriors cometh rest; sweet is the calm of paradise the blest.” And that, my friends, is “the rest of the story.”