Stumbling on Happiness

Thank you for your post, Ms. Bellcanto. Here is my response....

Daniel Gilbert actually wrote a book conveniently titled "Stumbling on Happiness." >>click here for more information about it.

While sometimes humorous, the overall theme of the book addresses the human being's unique ability, and unfortunate tendency to be able to think about the future; to consider, analyze, and adjust our current circumstances to affect the future.

We try to make ourselves happy based on what we believe we want our futures to look like and what we assume will make us happy in the long-term. Gilbert suggests that in reality, when we are older--even on our deathbeds, we are never happy or satified with the decisions we made throughout our lives which were based on what we thought we would eventually want and be hapopy with, because what we currently believe will make us happy in the future won't necessarily pan-out. Therefore, we should be living for today, and what makes us happy in the present times. Theoretically, if we concentrate on daily happiness, in the longrun, regardless of where we end-up, we will be able to look back and say that we were happy all along and as a result, we have no regrets, and we don't look back in disdain about why we thought we would like something other than we do.

The perfect example of this is a man who sacrifices daily happiness and works hard when he is young--perhaps even to the detriment of his family, spouse, health, etc. --with the idea that doing do now will in the long-run pay dividends-- he will be financially well-off, will be able to retire early, spend time with his family, play a lot of golf, and live the happy, relaxed life of a young, spry retiree. I think we all know what really ends-up happening here, don't we?

He either:
1) Looks back on his life and regrets sacrificing quality time with his family, regrets that he missed the most of the experiences and everyday happinesses for assumed long term gains, and perhaps even realizes that he doesn't like golf all that much.

or

2) He never quite accomplishes what he wanted or reaches the level he had hoped, and therefore, like a drug, he remains addicted to his pursuit and continues his aspirations of reaching some magical level of happiness. He never stops his extreme and sacrificial lifestyle and ends-up wasting his life --all the good things, all the possibilities for enjoying so much --because he remains committed to living for the future and what he assumes will eventually be his true happiness. All the while, in the end, he ends up looking back and realizing that he lived a life envied by noone.

When analyzing my personal level of happiness and satisfaction, I find that happiness truly is stumbled upon. It hits you like a brick out of nowhere. I cannot be necessarily or difinitively traced to a specific or given item, event, person, or ideal --much like pain and suffering can. True happiness is upon us without reason. Why? Who knows? But perhaps it is because we aren't looking for it, rather, we are living for it. We aren't stressing-out and working towards trying to find it resulting in continued sadness and acknowledgement that we aren't happy. Rather, we come upon it--we stumble on happiness naturally through a happy lifestyle. And when the realization of natural and true happiness overtakes us, it is fabulous!

I. Am. Happy.

I can't tell you exactly why, but I can tell you that I haven't been looking for happiness, I've been living for it.