Exercise for Understanding Your Partner’s Insecurities

An Exercise for Understanding Your Partner’s Insecurities...and Your Own!

I recently came up with an exercise which I thought was quite helpful in bolstering the quality and levels of communication and understanding with one's partner. It seems to work wonderfully as far as I am concerned. Perhaps you could give it a try...

1) Sit down with your partner each with a sheet of paper and a pen.
2) Draw 3 columns on your paper and number 5 rows in each column.

The column headers should be:
a) My insecurities
b) Your insecurities
c) What I like/what I find most appealing about you.

Without talking, complete the lists. It is important to suck it up and be completely open and honest, otherwise this exercise is for naught.

For a) name your top 5 insecurities. For b) name what you think are the top 5 insecurities of your partner. For c) name the the top 5 things you like most about your partner.

Once you've completed your lists, verbally exchange what you wrote one-by-one working from list a) to c) and discussing the answers with your partner.

So you think you really know your partner, right? If you are both completely honest, the results are quite enlightening and hopefully you will learn more than you thought.

The idea here is that we all have our insecurities. While some of us make them obvious, others are good at burying them deep down. The problem is, deep-rooted insecurities cannot be addressed unless an individual is willing to acknowledge them--even to their partner. Far too often, they are never addressed and the overwhelming nature of their impact on the individual can be disastrous --many times to the detriment of the relationship.

Have fun, let go, and enjoy!