QUESTION: Should Governor Spitzer's Wife Stand By Her Man?

Bellcanto says...
Silda Wall Spitzer's presence beside her husband while he admitted his wrongdoings on Wednesday has been called by some an act of “enabling” her husband’s shame; it has also been renounced as a terrible message that is being communicated to younger women. Sally Quinn of the Washington Post equates it with that of “Taliban women covered from head to toe in burqa, standing a few paces behind their men, appendages to their all powerful husbands. Or Indian women committing sati, throwing themselves on their husband’s funeral pyre.” As if not showing up with her husband or refusing to stand by his side would prove his guilt any more or remedy the wrong that was done to her? I think people would only be led to wonder more about the poor Mrs. Spitzer – why wasn’t she there and how was she handling this wretched ordeal? Whereas, thanks to the way she faced the world along with her shamed husband – along with the Mrs. Larry Craigs and Mrs. David Vitters before her – people were only faced with the reality of how Gov. Spitzer failed her and the public. But municipal perception (this is not the main point) aside, I believe it is only decent and correct what the First Lady of New York demonstrated: that a woman stands by her man no matter what. Whether she decides to stay with him or leave him after this is another story, but at least her last responsibility as a partner to her husband was carried out with dignity and grace…regardless of whether Mr. Spitzer deserved it or not.


D-Llama says...
As I sit here in New York eating supper at a sub-par Chinese restaurant just steps from the mayor's mansion, I can't help but think about the governor's mansion and wonder what all transpired there just days earlier; the conversations, the questions, the avoidance, the pain - and of course, the strategizing. (what a shame!)

I can only imagine the betrayal his wife feels, knowing that her beau had been living a double life--indeed a tremendous fear for many women. To think about all she had to struggle with in such a short amount of time. How could he? Why didn't I see this was happening? What did I do wrong? How could he look me in the eyes every night knowing that he was betraying my trust and our family so willingly? And the intense pressure of the immediate decisions: Run like the wind? Stand by his side in support? It's not like they had time to even address all the emotional and traumatic aspects of his infidelity. It seems a bit unfair to her in my eyes that people are so quick to judge her decision to stand by his side. Ultimately, in my eyes, she did no wrong. She hadn't even had a moment to grieve or make sense of everything before she was asked (I'm sure) by him and his advisors to be there in support.

Fortunately for her, she will be the one, the only one to make the decision whether to stand by him in the long run.

William Congreve wrote "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned / Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned" in The Mourning Bride (1697). So, I guess the real question here is: What's next for the Spitzers? Only time will tell I suppose, but I cannot in good conscience discredit her loyalty to him nor will I condemn her for not having stood-up as a proud, independent woman, and giving him the boot. While I - as most people are I assume - am repulsed at his behavior, I admire her loyalty to him and their marriage. Infidelity is the single most difficult thing to conquer in relationships, but people take on the challenge and do it all the time. Is it out of obligation to their personal commitment? Commitment to God? Out of Love? All are quite admirable...