Aside from everything else I've stated on this blog, I've learned a lot of late about what it takes to exist in and maintain a healthy relationship. This is due in part to the influence of many good women in my life. What makes a good woman you say? Devotion? Commitment? Loyalty? True understanding of her man? Passion? Individuality? Honesty? Integrity? Good character? Consistency? Conservative / Progressive ideology? Willingness to compromise?
The answer is yes. A little bit of all of them.
So, here's some of what I've learned about women and what I believe to be necessary in nurturing and maintaining a healthy relationship with them:
1) First and foremost, women want a "partner"; someone they can experience life with on an equal basis, but whom they can also rely on and feel protected by. They do not want a "father figure"or someone to lecture them about what they should be doing and how. They want to remain independent, but to also have a support system.
2) Woman have a tremendous need...to feel wanted, desired, appreciated, respected, and loved--and they should get that!
3) They need to hear their man tell them they are beautiful; to look at them as their queen; as the only woman that matters in their eyes.
4) They want to be heard--truly heard. They want their man to listen to them and their feelings/thoughts. They do not want a solution. They do not want a fix to their problem, they want an ear. They want understanding.
More to come from D-Llama...
Bellcanto responds...
Just a few thoughts...
A woman wants a little independence, yes…but all women don't want complete autonomy from their men. They do long for partnerships, but they also long to be his ezer-kenegdo - his helpmeet. We do want to be heard, it’s true…truly heard that is, not just a deaf ear that seems to be taking in what we say. But sometimes we do need our man to give us his opinion, view or estimation about something. Sometimes we just need his good sound judgment to help us see something clearly. So if a woman asks her man what he thinks, that means she really does want to know what he thinks. (The one caveat being in regard to a question about her appearance – and most men know not to touch that one!).
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Just a few thoughts...
A woman wants a little independence, yes…but all women don't want complete autonomy from their men. They do long for partnerships, but they also long to be his ezer-kenegdo - his helpmeet.
We do want to be heard, it’s true…truly heard that is, not just a deaf ear that seems to be taking in what we say. But sometimes we do need our man to give us his opinion, view or estimation about something. Sometimes we just need his good sound judgment to help us see something clearly. So if a woman asks her man what he thinks, that means she really does want to know what he thinks. (The one caveat being in regard to a question about her appearance – and most men know not to touch that one!).
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